Ash and Team Excerpt #1

This month I’m sharing excerpts from my WIP from previous NaNoWriMos, working title Ash and Team.  It is inspired by the Mi’kmaq-French Cinderella story called Oochigeaskw.

Dramatis Personae:
  • Ash (our Cinderella character)
  • Team (our “prince,” an invisible spirit)
  • Meg (Team’s older sister, the narrator)

Now I may say that the contest was not my idea.

One day my brother came home wet, and then several days later he told me he was going to get married.  Being used to my brother, I took this in stride.

He told me how he met a girl (ran into her, really) in the village—the only person besides me who had ever been able to see him since that fateful day he went hunting moose, the year our parents died.

There was only one problem: he didn’t know who she was.

Which is perhaps not the most promising start for a marriage, but Team was not deterred.  He had thought of a plan as he wandered aimlessly among the wigwams looking for this girl.  He would issue a general invitation to all the girls of the village, and when the right girl came, he would know her.

“What if she doesn’t want to marry you?” I asked.

He just grinned. “I’ll convince her.”

He also seemed unconcerned about the fact that the execution of his plan fell mostly upon my shoulders.  Who would have to spread the word of his proposal in the village?  Who would have to meet the prospective brides as they came?  Who would have to test them as to whether or not they could see my brother?

My brother is lucky that I love him very much.

4 thoughts on “Ash and Team Excerpt #1

  1. NovEllaandBanannabelle November 6, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Interesting excerpt! I like the humorous voice.

    I’m actually about to start a series of posts on Cinderella. What a coincidence! Stay tuned this week for the introduction. Thanks for sharing the Oochigeaskw title. The version I read had been stripped of most of the Mi’kmaq culture.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mei-Mei November 6, 2016 / 12:45 pm

      I can’t wait to read your series; Cinderella-type stories are some of my favorite fairy tales. I really struggled with how to include the culture in this story, and that’s the primary reason I’m not going to publish it. It’s not my culture, so I can’t do it justice, but ignoring it completely feels like erasure.

      Meg started off being a kind of boring narrator, but then I just started writing in my own voice and she got more snarky haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • NovEllaandBanannabelle November 8, 2016 / 8:19 pm

        Great – I’m excited to swap ideas about Cinderella!

        I wouldn’t mind some cultural differences in a retelling, but I was supposedly reading an original version… Perhaps it was just a liberally translated variation.

        Liked by 1 person

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